Sometimes I feel like I make excuses for certain things that I do, just to hush my mind. Even though these so called excuses really are rational reasons for doing things, or refraining from doing them. Maybe I just need to trust myself more. Even though I'm the only person I do really trust I guess there's always room for improvement. Once I learn to fully do that, maybe I can begin to trust other people.. But I don't know if I really want to do that.

People call me a pessimist, for not having faith in others. These are generally the words of ignorant optimists who waste their thoughts imagining and hoping for a lottery win or a fairytale love.
When this happens it's all I can do to keep from taking a razor to their air-filled heads. I am not a pessimist, I am a realist, and that is why I won't be the one walked all over on this side of the argument.

SVA scholarship letters go out today. I'm hoping and praying. I just want to get out of this house, and with a scholarship I may be able to dorm. And that my friends, would finally make me happy.