Tuesday, November 25, 2008
beat
Sometimes when I walk through the halls I wish I had a nail gun (I’m totally gonna get suspended for this, haha. NO THREAT INTENDED.) To shoot down the oversized balloons these girls feel the need to advertise their birthdays with.
On the contrary, I do enjoy observing my generation as they prance around in such an arrogant manner, like I should give a dead rat’s left testicle about who said what to whom, and what happened at the party on Friday. But the reasons for this are pretty contradictory, as it makes me feel superior and better about myself. Maybe it’s because I know I don’t express this opinion as vibrantly as schoolmates that gives me such a complex.
You can stare through squinted eyes, down your nose, from way up high in the air. Twirl those fake nails around your equally fake hair. Criticize, analyze, insult, intimidate. Do it. That’s my cup of compliments in the morning. I don’t want to look good in your eyes. Because I don’t even look good in mine.
For the next 6 to 8 weeks I will be my most vulnerable emotionally because as of yesterday I have been put on Lexapro. Wonderful. I really feel all the support in my house. More so from my loving brother. He’s got some great words of encouragement. “I hope you die of malnutrition. I hope you continue to get thinner and thinner and then all your friends will abandon you. You’re disgusting. You’re a freak. You’re repulsive.” The list goes on. I think he broke the record for the most insults I’ve ever heard directed at me in under a minute. Very nice. Very nice.
On a less sarcastic and more optimistic note I see my doctor tomorrow, the one on the island. She may take over for that horrible Dr. Fisher. I’ll admit the optimism is forced, but at this point it’s all I have left.
If all else fails, I could always ask for an official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time, and proceed to shoot my eye out. =D
I’m kidding. I’m just suffering from major holiday time A Christmas Story withdrawal. WHY ISN’T IT ON YET?!
And I know I swore Bamboozle off for good after last years catastrophe, but No Doubt. May 3rd. I have to go.
Today I was informed that my painting will be on the holiday card Tottenville sends out to all the BOE officials and other schools. But I don’t know if I should be very proud of that. In the long run it will look good in my portfolio, but…. It’s Tottenville… Every up has its down I guess. Got my typical pats on the back from my parents, and a nice congratulatory hump from my dog. Oh, Bentley.
This song is amazing.
----------------
Now playing: Sara Bareilles - One Sweet Love
via FoxyTunes
On the contrary, I do enjoy observing my generation as they prance around in such an arrogant manner, like I should give a dead rat’s left testicle about who said what to whom, and what happened at the party on Friday. But the reasons for this are pretty contradictory, as it makes me feel superior and better about myself. Maybe it’s because I know I don’t express this opinion as vibrantly as schoolmates that gives me such a complex.
You can stare through squinted eyes, down your nose, from way up high in the air. Twirl those fake nails around your equally fake hair. Criticize, analyze, insult, intimidate. Do it. That’s my cup of compliments in the morning. I don’t want to look good in your eyes. Because I don’t even look good in mine.
For the next 6 to 8 weeks I will be my most vulnerable emotionally because as of yesterday I have been put on Lexapro. Wonderful. I really feel all the support in my house. More so from my loving brother. He’s got some great words of encouragement. “I hope you die of malnutrition. I hope you continue to get thinner and thinner and then all your friends will abandon you. You’re disgusting. You’re a freak. You’re repulsive.” The list goes on. I think he broke the record for the most insults I’ve ever heard directed at me in under a minute. Very nice. Very nice.
On a less sarcastic and more optimistic note I see my doctor tomorrow, the one on the island. She may take over for that horrible Dr. Fisher. I’ll admit the optimism is forced, but at this point it’s all I have left.
If all else fails, I could always ask for an official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time, and proceed to shoot my eye out. =D
I’m kidding. I’m just suffering from major holiday time A Christmas Story withdrawal. WHY ISN’T IT ON YET?!
And I know I swore Bamboozle off for good after last years catastrophe, but No Doubt. May 3rd. I have to go.
Today I was informed that my painting will be on the holiday card Tottenville sends out to all the BOE officials and other schools. But I don’t know if I should be very proud of that. In the long run it will look good in my portfolio, but…. It’s Tottenville… Every up has its down I guess. Got my typical pats on the back from my parents, and a nice congratulatory hump from my dog. Oh, Bentley.
This song is amazing.
----------------
Now playing: Sara Bareilles - One Sweet Love
via FoxyTunes
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